Tandem Story:
When It Goes Awry.
Remember the book
"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? I received the
following story over the email from one of my friends
which provides ample proof for that statement. An English professor from the
University
of
Phoenix
suggested during one of his lectures: "Today we will experiment with a
new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will
pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As
homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short
story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to
me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
to the story and send it back also sending another copy to me. The first
person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to
re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story
coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over
when both agree a conclusion has been reached.
"The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca
(last name deleted), and
Gary
(last name deleted).
THE STORY: (First Paragraph By Rebecca)
At
first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite
for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once
said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. However, she felt she must
keep her mind off Carl at all costs. His possessiveness was suffocating, and
if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So
chamomile was out of the question
Gary
: Meanwhile, Advance
Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon
4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses
of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one
sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17...” he said
into his Trans-galactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign
of resistance so far..." However, before he could sign off, a bluish
particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's
cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
seat and across the cockpit.
Rebecca: He
bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one
last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress
Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel", Laurie
read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her
and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the
days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to
read, no vision to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all
the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose
one’s innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully
Gary
: Little did she
know that she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the
city, the Anu'udrian mother ship launched the first of its lithium
fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral
Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless
target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the
human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly
initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered
the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile
submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of
Guam
, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on
the conference table. "We can't allow this! I am going to veto that
treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
Rebecca: This
is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing
partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
Gary
: Yeah? Well,
you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or
shall I have some other sort of F***ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed
bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
Rebecca: Asshole
Gary
: Bitch
Teacher:
A+, I really liked this one! Only group to get an A
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